Who Am I?

by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Who Am I?" is a poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer that explores the theme of identity. In the poem, Bonhoeffer reflects on the different ways that others see him and the contradictions that he sees within himself. He wonders if he is really the person that others say he is, or if he is only the person he knows himself to be. The poem concludes with Bonhoeffer acknowledging that, despite his uncertainty and doubts about his identity, he is known and loved by God. The poem is a powerful expression of the human experience of trying to understand and define one's own identity.

Who Am I?
Who am I? They often tell me,
I come out of my cell
Calmly, cheerfully, resolutely,
Like a lord from his palace.
Who am I? They often tell me,
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me,
I carried the days of misfortune
Equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one who is used to winning.
Am I really then what others say of me?
Or am I only what I know of myself?
Restless, melancholic, and ill, like a caged bird,
Struggling for breath, as if hands clasped my throat,
Hungry for colors, for flowers, for the songs of birds,
Thirsty for friendly words and human kindness,
Shaking with anger at fate and at the smallest sickness,
Trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Tired and empty at praying, at thinking, at doing,
Drained and ready to say goodbye to it all.
Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and another tomorrow?
Am I both at once? In front of others, a hypocrite,
And to myself a contemptible, fretting weakling?
Or is something still in me like a battered army,
running in disorder from a victory already achieved?
Who am I? These lonely questions mock me.
Whoever I am, You know me, I am yours, O God.